I saw the hurt.
It looked like anger to a whole lot of people, but I recognize that sort of pain when I see it.
It’s the sort of pain that makes you mad at the world. Since you can’t get back at the world, you try to settle the score with people. If enough people can feel the pain you feel, then maybe you and the world can call it even.
Usually, that sort of pain is caused by loss. A profound grief that we struggle to name. In struggling to name that grief, we fail to give it room at the table. When we ignore that grief, it grows louder. It tries to gain our attention. It just wants to be heard.
That sort of pain is difficult to contain. It eats away at the individual, and then—slowly but surely—at anyone either unfortunate or bold enough to enter that pain’s trajectory.
And this is where I see myself falling short. Because I can see the hurt, it’s easy for me to steer clear of that trajectory. And steering clear of such trajectories might be one of my least Christlike habits.
I often think about what God felt like in the Garden of Eden when he saw Adam & Eve hiding their naked bodies in shame. When God realized that the very people once created out of love and intentionality had chosen to see and believe the worst about themselves and the God who made them (based on the testimony of another creature instead of their own experience) I imagine that God was more sad than anything. We often read about God cursing the serpent, Eve, and finally Adam after “the fall” in Genesis 3, but what if that’s not actually what’s happening? What if God isn’t declaring divine punishment and retribution, but describing a natural consequence of an action God never intended in the first place?
The same garden that God created to sustain the man in Genesis 21 would become a pain for him by Genesis 32. The same people that were created as companions in Genesis 23 would experience hierarchy and discord by Genesis 34. The same serpent that was part of the good creation of Genesis 1 & 25 would find itself eating dust and at odds with humanity by Genesis 36.
I think God is expressing a profound sadness as creation is frayed by people acting based on a fundamental misunderstanding of who God is and what God is like. When the serpent presents God as one who is withholding good things so that people will not become like God and the people believe the serpent, things begin to fall apart.
Believing lies about God carries real consequences.
When I think about incarnation, I think about a God who heads toward our hurt. A God who has always been familiar with our pain and felt compelled to show it to us so that we’d stop imagining a God who is insensitive to what we’re going through.
We’ve inherited a world that is largely known by a hurt we don’t know what to do with. We just know we don’t want to experience it. But eventually, hurt comes for us all. We all experience loss. We know what grief is. And, if some of us are honest, we know what it’s like to want people to hurt like we do.
Maybe you’re like me and you can spot the hurt from a mile away. You don’t want to subject yourself to that, because you’ve already felt it (at least) one too many times. But the crazy thing about God—this thing that many people call the gospel—is that God knowingly enters that hurt with us. Knowing the blows we’ll inflict, God sits in the middle of our hurt with us. God weeps with us. And, in so doing, God lifts the weary head.
The last time I saw the hurt in someone else, I ran from it.
As I ran, I bumped into the God who met me in the middle of my pain.
In running away from someone else’s hurt and smack dab into God, I realized that I am still in the process of being transformed. I’m still in the process of being healed from that hurt. And it just might be that God is calling me to enter someone else’s pain with them, so that they can know about the God who heads toward their hurt too.
I like playing with words. So that’s what I do. Whether it be with tweets, videos, essays, sermonic presentations, Bible studies, podcasts, or speaking engagements of other sorts, I’m always trying to figure out how to provoke an image in a seeker with some combination of words.
If you’ve enjoyed any of the words I have to offer, check out my book Theologizin’ Bigger: Homilies on Living Freely and Loving Wholly wherever books are sold!
“The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden…” Genesis 2:15-16 (NIV)
“Cursed is the ground because of you;
through painful toil you will eat food from it
all the days of your life.
It will produce thorns and thistles for you,
and you will eat the plants of the field.
By the sweat of your brow
you will eat your food
until you return to the ground…”
Genesis 3:17-19 (NIV)
“The man said,
‘This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.’
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
Genesis 2:23-25 (NIV)
“Your desire will be for your husband,
and he will rule over you.”
Genesis 3:16 (NIV)
“And God said, ‘Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: the livestock, the creatures that move along the ground, and the wild animals, each according to its kind.’ And it was so. God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good.” Genesis 1:24-25 (NIV)
“The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’
Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name.”
Genesis 2:18-19 (NIV)
“So the Lord God said to the serpent, ‘Because you have done this,
Cursed are you above all livestock
and all wild animals!
You will crawl on your belly
and you will eat dust
all the days of your life.
And I will put enmity
between you and the woman,
and between your offspring and hers;
he will crush your head,
and you will strike his heel.’”
Genesis 3:14-15 (NIV)
It’s taken seven decades for me to recognize and appreciate the goodness and powerful love God holds for each of us and that you so clearly describe in this reflection. I’m impressed that you have achieved this understanding so young, and I’m grateful to you for sharing the message of God’s love, justice, and peace. Your voice will make a difference. Sending blessings, love, and peace to you. 🩵 🕊️
This is a very important word, imo. Thank you for your openness in your writing.
I respect you so much for seeing this need and your felt lack. Much love Trey.